The Points Guy isn’t the only one who’s been to Korea recently. A lot of Koreans have also been there. Last week, we too got hungry for some authentic bulgogi and plastic surgery, so we had our assistants book an award flight from San Francisco to Seoul on Korean Air.
At SFO, Korean Air shares a lounge with SkyTeam partner Air France, a particularly perplexing mashup of cultures. It was no surprise, then, when this turned out to be possibly the worst “international” lounge we have ever visited. Service was nonexistent, there were no saunas, and the alcohol selection literally made us vomit. Still, we were more focused on the in-flight experience to come, and we kept our spirits up by continuously guzzling mediocre champagne.
When it came time to board, we made our way to the gate and stumbled down the jetway onto a noticeably-not-brand-new 777-200ER. A friendly flight attendant greeted us and directed us to our seat, which was oddly not at the very front of the plane. It was strange turning right upon boarding an international flight, but we glanced at our ticket and felt reassured by the clear “Prestige Class” designation.
We remember noting the hospital-during-Easter-esque atmosphere, with plasticky pastel-blue seats and matching flight attendant uniforms. And like our last hospital visit, there was a lot of champagne being imbibed. After a completely unoriginal taxi and takeoff, we were in the air and meal service began. We opted for the Korean-style bibimbap, which was tolerable, at least for airline bibimbap. However, something still seemed off in the cabin. Before we could figure it out, the cheese cart came around, and we indulged in some of Korea’s finest, accompanied by a red wine whose name slips our mind. Afterward, we quickly drifted off to sleep in the sterile lie-flat seat.
We were forcibly awakened shortly before landing in Seoul, and once the door opened we got up to deplane. But the flight attendant held us back, asking us to please wait while the first class passengers exited. Feelings of absolute terror and shame immediately set in as we looked past her to see what we now know to be Korean Air’s Kosmo Suites. It was like the end of The Sixth Sense, but worse: we had been flying business class the entire time!
Needless to say, we fired our assistants and are in the process of interviewing their replacements. We booked our return flight on Asiana, in a proper first class suite, and will never fly Korean again.
